Have you ever found the arguing of two people in your office as a beautiful noise? Well as crazy as it sound, I have. There is some kind of beauty in dealing with conflict among each other. It is the realisation that a bunch of imperfect, good willing, with high expectations people, are working with a bunch of imperfect, good willing, with high expectations human beings, and because of the nature of our humanity we will never fulfilled those expectations, then frustration has been born.
The problem is that we see arguing as something frustrating, and very uncomfortable, because we cannot change the perspective the person who is arguing with us, or may be we cannot see what the other person is trying to enlighten us. We are taught to run away from conflict, never to face it. We see conflict as the darkness, and the solution as the light coming into the room. This is our nature, as human beings too see what we do not like as the negative side. What about looking at the conflict as the positive thing in itself, and the lack of it, not as negative but challenging.
If we change our perspective on how we see, deal and work with conflict, then I am very certain the solution of most or our problems will be in our hands. If we are able to see conflict as a positive input to our lives, then we will welcome it into our everyday life. Conflict is just the absence of understanding, patience, and tolerance, and it can be towards others, or even towards us. That is correct, we usually forget we are our worst enemies.
Last year while I was reading the post in facebook about the end of the world, a friend of mine posted: “it was not the end of the world, but not the end of stupidity”. We would like a world without all these negative moments, but as I responded to her: “stupidity will never end, the day we do not have it is because we are probably dead. Stupidities make us wiser and more patient, more human. So let us welcome stupidity to our lives in order to become greater people”
So as a good resolution for this New Year, let’s welcome conflict to our lives, to our work places so we can grow in our understanding of each other, and we can face in a better way the common struggles we will face in the community we love and care. A great teacher in the Buddhist traditions says: “When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” (Thich Nhat Hanh)