“The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage.”
I do not know what the Latin Rhythms have, but they have always been such a therapy for me. It
is like a burden inside of me that gets into every part of my soul, body and spirit and moves me at the beat of their many melodies; especially in these moments of not knowing where my life will end.
It has been may years of self discovering, always trying to change, to be different; praying many prayers, going to psychologist, counselors, Christian ministries specialized in helping people who deal with the same “problem” , because it was always seem as a problem to overcome and not as gift to be cherished. That is why I was not happy being a pastor because I was not showing the real Miguel. I could not pretended anymore; if I was going to be living a life
to serve God, I needed to be real, to be the dancing- crazy-fanatic of Latin music, to drink some “frias” (cold beers) with my friends, to enjoy a whole evening dancing until my feet hurt with the people who do not care if I am or not; an
d still be able to talk about God, His grace, love, forgiveness, compassion and unity. YES!!!! THIS IS ME!! May be jobless, churchless, and very unclear of the journey ahead, but the FREEDOM is priceless.
The FREEDOM to be myself; no more pretension, no more fear that people will find out about my secret life—there is NO secret life anymore—everything is in the open now, no more feeling less, or insecure. Let me tell you, is this FREEDOM who is holding my hand to move forward, God’s FREEDOM in my life.
I really do not know where I am heading; and I do not know what I will be ended up doing, but let me tell you: inside of me I know that it will be good. I do not care if I lose every possession I have, if I ride a bike (that I think I really need it), if I go back to live in a 2 by 2 room, if I walk to work because I do not have money to pay for the bus ride, if I eat once a day, and work in the kitchen of a school to be able to have something to eat a day, to ask a friend if I could sleep in his house until I find a job, to live in an empty apartment with no furniture, and a cooler as a my fridge. I do not care, because I have done every single thing I have mentioned in here, and look at me now, God’s faithfulness has been with me even in the lowest moments of my life, even when I struggled to accept myself, when I had nothing, or when I tasted the “good life” of consumerism. FREEDOM has a price, and I am willing to pay it; I mean I am paying it now.
Am I ever going back to full time ministry or to serve Christ? Yes, because I have never left it. The Church can take away my appointment (the assignation of a place to be a pastor), but they won’t be able to take away God’s call. People I loved turned their backs to me, and told me that I was taking the journey to hell, accused me, and never spoke a word. It hurts, yes indeed it does; but in this FREEDOM I have gained God’s dignity and acceptance to myself. Even though I may be not having a place to teach every Sunday, I am sharing my message of unity and tolerance through this wonderful place where people are reading my articles. These words, phrases, and paragraphs are still touching and inspiring others.
Hopefully I can be able to inspire you to be real, open, vulnerable, and be able to have His kingdom come in the heaven we are living today. FREEDOM is priceless, and you know what I will keep dancing: AZUCAR!!!