It has been a while since I wrote my last article, not because of lack of inspiration because this comes from my daily life, from the simple moments I encountered, and then I translate them into a life’s teaching for me. Then I shared to you so you may learn also. I once said that I’ve always tried to learn from everything, and last week was not the exception.
For the last nine months I have been saying goodbye to people close to me, friends that for one moment were as closer as a brothers, individuals that I was willing to give my life to them in order to thank them for what they have done to me. And all these because of my own personal decisions. I have asked myself many times what went wrong? When I lost their hands and lost them? Why do they stop listening to my voice? People will say to me: “Oh do not worry, Miguel! If they can not accept you now, in reality they never did. They were not really your friends” Well, may be I am a very soft hearten person, but I can not accept that. These are people I loved not because they thought similar to me, because in many things I never agreed with them, but because the way they gave themselves to me. Not because we did a lot of activities together, but because they were there when I most needed it. I know they gave me their heart, their care and their love. But then I decided that it was time to take a different journey; not the one that everybody else was taking, but my own. Suddenly the enchantment was broken, and I was not fulfilling their expectations anymore. They started to share with me their own opinions about my decision, and why they thought this path was not the right one. Last week one of these statements hurt deeply into my soul, when I was told: “I did not intend to imply that you were throwing yourself off a spiritual cliff, rather that I was worried that you might”. I thought I took a journey, a new path of freedom, peace, and self-acceptance. I never saw it as cliff.
We do not realize the power of what our words can do to others. We do not even know that our actions are even stronger than the most complicated words spoken. But we just feel the rush to share our opinion, it is within us, part of our humanity. The problem comes when these opinions become our truths.
Have you ever been disappointed? I have, but it is not what the others have done to me, but how I felt from what they did to me. That is true disappointment. It is not to blame the attacker about what they did, but to realized that something inside of me got hurt. To know that I let down of my guard as a valuable person and I let the words of these people penetrated into the deepest of my soul. If we are able to recognize this then we can learn again to trust people.
Let me tell you an example; It is like the girl who has been heart broken many times. Yes! People are mean, we are mean!, selfish, and self-centered; but she opens the door of her heart to these young fellows that can come and grab it. Most of the time they do not know how to handle this precious and valuable artifact, and they ended up breaking it. Then she wonders when it will be the day when someone can come and treat her as the lady she is. So she goes out and looks into the horizon trying to see if her loved will come to her. The problem is that she is looking outside of herself to bring this fulfillment of her soul without realizing that she just need to let go of her heart little by little, so the next man that would come can reach out and placed her heart in his hands. It is not about placing the full expectation on the guy, but to realize that she has the power to open or close the door of her heart. That is why we said, follow your heart.
So, it does not matter how many times we will be disappointed, because people will still disappoint us, and we will disappoint others. It is how many times we can open the door of ourselves and show the real person, the human being, the real, the fearful, the doubter, the confused, the skeptical and let others touch our heart. We have that power to do so.
So if I have been hurt, in a way, is because I am letting their words and actions touch my heart. So it is in my power to let those words touch me or not, and if I do that, if I am able to stop those words to touch me, then I would still be trusting others that will cross my way in this new journey I am walking, and meet new people, new friends and we will live new moments.
Coming back to this broken hearted girl, if she does this, she will be setting the stage for a new person to come. Is the right one? She would never know, if she is not willing to open the door of herself.
NOTE: This article is dedicated to all these new friends I am meeting in this new journey. Thank you!!