The Journey of Shatterness

“The more I think about loneliness, the more I think that the wound of loneliness is like the Grand Canyon–a deep incision in the surface of our existence which has become inexhaustible source of beauty and self-understanding…The Christian way of life does not take away our loneliness; it protects and cherishes it as a precious gift” Henry Nouwen

When i get home after a full day of socialize with people, there is an empty silence in my soul that starts to arise from the emptiness of the walls. It is the sound of the nature of my life, like the song of the crickets and frogs outside; an inner beauty that creates, but at the same time leaves me in awe and contemplation of the greatness and deepness of my wounds. My only companion are the many concerts and symphonies that played in the background trying to fill with joy these walls. My voice, silent as the night, wakes up and tries to speak words of encouragement to my soul, but the noise and voices that surround my life scream at me making of this space, that should be a place of rest, irresistibly annoying.

In The Way of Simplicity there are many journeys, the first one is the journey of shatterness. The first one and last one are the hardest to deal with. The first one because we come into a moment in our life where everything else is thorn apart, it is broken, it is shattered in many small pieces and there is nothing we can do about it. The last one–The Journey of tender belovedness– (that I will talk about it latter on) is the one who seals all the journeys before and help us move forth to our inner love.

The Journey of Shatterness take us to recognize the darkness in ourselves when we face all our ideologies, concepts, believes and standards of life and we realized that there could be a possibility that we could be wrong. It is the realization of a our raw humanity, Like the beautiful clay vessel that has been smashed and there is no way to put it back together, that is exactly what this journey lead us: to a place of dust. Carl Jung said, “Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.” It is the hardest one because we need to be able to enter into a place of restructure what we have wrongly built. I know, it look beautiful from outside; magnificent block walls painted in the most wonderful colors, a front lawn that welcomes every person to the fellowship of our own home, two nice cars who can show the rest of the world the good we are doing, a wife, a couple of children, may be a dog and two cats, ah! and every Sunday we are involved in some kind of religion.But when we step into this journey suddenly everything is destroyed and wherever we thought the source of our happiness was, is gone becoming just dust. I am not talking just about what material things we own, it is also about our preformed ideas of religion, concepts of what life should look or not look, the way we see others or even ourselves. It is to come to a moment of pure dust. This is just the begging..
“only the man who has had to face despair is really convinced that he needs mercy”–Thomas Merton


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