“How we ever can expect something really new to happen to us if our hearts and minds are so full of our own concerns that we do not even listen to the sounds announcing a new reality”–Henry Nouwen
A wise Yaqui Indian said, “You think and talk much, you must stop talking to yourself”. One of my greatest enemy and the one who makes more destruction in me is myself. But this is not to have negative outcome in life, but to be aware that is not sin, not others, no the world i live, no the internet, not the wife, the mom or the siblings. It is simply myself. Nouwen says that our vocation is to convert “the hostis into a hopes, the enemy into a guest and to create the free and fearless space where brotherhood and sisterhood can be formed and fully experienced”. Welcoming the enemy–myself–so he can be a guest and experience brotherhood is one of the most difficult task I have as a messy and broken person in this world, because I need to welcome the things I do not like about myself, the things I hate, and the things that smell pretty bad. How can I make of this enemy of mine to become the guest in my home, where “hospitality, therefore; means primarily the creation of a free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy”.
This free space is called silence in solitude, it is the space where we must quite our noisy humanity and start listen to the beauty within ourselves, to welcome the enemy and the stranger into a place where he can become himself: free. We are not here to live a sinless life, we are here to know that we are loved in our messiness, our brokenness,and in the many imperfections we have.
For the next four weeks I will start a journey of silence in solitude; first by visiting and re-connect with the ones I love and then to re-connect with myself in a trip to a Trappist Monastery.Hopefully at the end of this journey I will have a better understanding of myself so I “can offer a space where I can be encouraged to disarm myself, to lay aside my occupations and preoccupations and to listen with attention and care to the voices speaking in my own center”
*all the quotes comes from the book Reaching Out by Henry J.M. Nouwen