“Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.

Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.” (Henry Nouwen)

Loving Paula has been one of these journeys, from pain to joy, from laughter to sadness, from trust, to distrust to trust again. I have learned to love her even when I am not agree with her, even when I do not want to agree with her opinions, even when I do not even want to talk about a conflicting subject. Who said that love is an easy task? For many people our relationship is illogical, it is not possible. But relationships are not about what others will say or do not say about it; but what the people involved in that relationship are willing to do for that relationship to work.

Well what about church? Is church so worthy to be able to risk everything to be able to have a great relationships? And when I say “church” I am referring to people, to the group of very messy human beings who are trying to find their fulfillment in God. Do we really believe that many of the fruits of community is suffering, betrayed and displacement or do we just want to idealized it and believe that only hope, love and true acceptance are always welcome. Christ did it, but am I? Can I overcome what other people say about what “church” must be and truly move towards what Christ has been said for the last 2000 years?

Am I avoiding the suffering of living my comfort zone, my thoughts, what “church” must or must not be or my own ideology so I can experience the joy of loving?…..I am not asking for answers here…I am just sharing my questions.


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