Nothingness


“Surrender your poverty and acknowledge your nothingness to the Lord. Whether you understand it or not. God loves you, is present in you, live in you, dwells in you, calls you, saves you and offers you an understanding and compassion which are like nothing you have ever found in a book or hear in a sermon” (Thomas Merton) How can I talk about nothingness when I feel empty? Exactly! We need to be empty in order to feel our nothingness before God. I was asked today: “so Miguel how are you doing in your battle with yourself?” I thought to myself, well I think the battle is always there, all of us have different battles. I battle constantly about my identity: who am I? I battle about my self-worth: am I valuable? am I making a difference?I battle with my faith: Lord, where are you taking me? I am not defined by what I battle. I don’t cope with it. I don’t put it away and ignore it. Ignoring it will be put it away in the closet of closeness. It is not something I can just surrender to God, because it is not a bad habit. It is part of me, within me, running through my vains, my thoughts, my unworthiness, my lack of confidence. It is not if I overcome it or not, but it is on how much I have dwell in Him in order to empty myself and be in a state of nothingness. To be able to do this I need to know that I am the beloved one. I am on the the journey to find myself in that stage. I haven’t reached it yet, but I know I walking towards it. “I knew there was only one place to go. I sank down into the center of my soul, grew still, and listened to the Rabbi’s heartbeat”(B. Manning)

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