Soul Eyes

One of the greatest teachings I learn this week came from my Persian brother Nasser who responded to a note I wrote saying, “This is definitely originated from your godly personality that find divine aspects inside people. We are all just mirrors of each other. The blessed is who uses his/her soul eyes.”

These words reached the deepest of my soul and for a moment a great silence brought me together with my friend. When we talk about silence most of the time we say that is the absence of noise, but I also believe that silence is a way we can communicate with others. Silence with words is the moment you are surrounded by the meaning of the things we read,and for a moment your freeze. I mean, after reading this amazing quote, I couldn’t do anything but be still and in silence. This is when I was united with his soul and spirit.

“The blessed is who uses his/her soul eyes” Hmmmmm!!! Definitely I can not say anything else but just try to digest them…….

Being Spirituality

After many year of living in culture where Sundays become the most important day of the week, I have started to wonder about that. We feel, as empty, if we do not have “our” time to worship God or to fellowship with other fellow believers; but today ’s church is not even close of what the church of the early Christians was and I do not think we could be like that either, specially because we are not in the early times anymore, we are in the 21st Century.

We have concentrated so much in developed great times of worship for Sunday mornings, there are places that plan exactly what they will have to better touch the lives of people, with the greatest music band and one of the most entrained teachings. We think that the only way to worship God fully is by having corporate worship in our church building. But then I am remainder of the story a good friend of mine and Muslim brother told when I asked him why Muslim people were extremely hospitable, he answered: “When someone showed up in our house, this person is a friend of God so we will treat him exactly like that”.

So that is when I realized that being spiritual also means to open my house for hospitality, to welcome people to the most inner place I have: my home and treat them as God’s friends. Who says we can not worship God in the company of guest? The church of today needs to learn to open their houses and welcome people to eat at their table instead of spending so much money on creating spectacular services or masses.

Today at my house, I have the great pleasure to host people from USA, Iran, Serbia, Montenegro, India, Spain, China, Austria and Mexico. What a great picture of true spirituality!

This is my place

You probably do not know, but I was invited to go and serve as an associate pastor in a big church at Nashville Tennessee, and yesterday I say no to the offer. The salary was one of the highest salaries I have been given ($44,000) and the chance to go to a bigger city was truly a temptation. But these are my reasons I decided to stay in this little and extremely republican town:

One of my favorite authors says, “The men and women who are truly filled with light are those who have gazed deeply into the darkness of their own imperfect existence”. First of all, I consider myself as a follower of Christ in this motto, to always show myself the way I am, with my weekends and strengths, with the light and the darkness of my humanity and knowing that I can not be the person that I want to be unless God helps me to be. I shared that part to the pastor who was asking me to go an serve in his church, and in a way he felt a little uncomfortable. Why when we are open an vulnerable to others, there is a sense of uncomfortability, specially among Christians? I am amazed how open and acceptable are my friends who are out side of the wall of the church.

Second, I love people, specially people outside of our churches, people who are the outcasts for the condeming standards of church goers, people who are not welcomed to our “churches”, so for me “church” is outside, church is having coffee in Starbucks, church is having a glass of wine in a restaurant, church is being involved in the lives of my classmates and encourage them, is organizing a dance night in a local business to support our city and be known in our community, for me church is to create a place where the white, black, gays, Hispanic, Muslim, college students, Catholics, Indian can feel at home, a place safe enough to doubt and like a Buddhism nun said, “we need to learn to leap into open spaces with our fear, resentment and doubt, this is how we become human beings”. I know I am called to be different not for the sake to be different but to be able to befriend for those who will never step into what we called church. After 8 years I have been able to do that at Connection and having the small chance to leave to Nashville made me realized how attach I am to this ministry and the called God has placed on me to do this kind of service. A very unique service, a very unique call.

From Hossana to the Crucify him- (message posted March 16th 2008)

When they placed the palm branches on the floor as a sign of worship to the king arriving to Jerusalem, I wonder if they truly knew what kind of king was Jesus. I think they were venerating the one that would change their status quo in the world they were living. They wanted a person who will give them power, significance and authority over their Roman rulers. They were expecting a “macho man”. Oh my gosh!! They truly glorified Him…then what happened a couple days after? What took them from “hosanna” to “crucify him”? What happened in between that made them change their minds? How soon the worship turned to disappointment? When Jesus was questioned, he answered: “my Kingdom is not from this world”. WHAT?? I have been following him for all these years and now he is saying that he is not the king I was expecting. Men’s expectations differ so much of what God’s plans are. Men’s expectations are based in (most of the time) selfish desires. In the desires that will give us the results we want. I want a king who will destroy my enemies, I want a king who will give me riches, I want a king who will be spectacular, and I want a king who will position me in higher places. To this king it will be very easy to sing: “Hosanna in the highest”. But what about the one powerless in the cross? The one who was beaten and humiliated?
This week we are remembering His passion and sacrifice, this week we are remembering his service and humility, his ultimate love for us. It was not what we were expecting; because we never thought about it. God’s plans are not the same as men’s expectations; His thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are His ways my ways, as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are His ways higher than my ways and His thoughts than my thoughts.”(Isaiah 55:8-9). I pray that we may sing “Hosanna in the highest” while He is being hanged at the cross. That we may see the power, the richness and the significance of being bought by a higher price. It is through His blood that I can be who He wants me to be: Miguel, his beloved son.

Why branches?

Nouwen said, “To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of our loneliness and to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude. Do not run, but be quiet and silent. Listen attentively to you own struggle. The answer to your question is hidden in your own heart. Learning to weep, learning to keep vigil, learning to wait for the dawn. Perhaps this is what it means to be human”

For some reason I do not understand, God has placed a thorn in my flesh who keeps reminded me about my humanity. For many years I have battle against it, I have prayed to Him to take it away from me, I have desired to have a different life, but the reality is that nothing has changed. Nouwen and Manning has taught me to minister out of my own brokenness, to accept the desert of our loneliness, to not run away from it and find my humanity. This humanity are the branches who welcomes me to be happy about the life I have been given. I believe that religion sometimes exchange our humanity for the very difficult task to become and act like God, so we spend our time and effort going to many activities trying to find that holly perfection. We walk like there are not darkness, weaknesses, imperfections in us and we judge everybody else who does not walk in “our” grace. We say that we walk in “victory” and we do not want to remember our defeat. We want the light without being able to go through the darkness. We want to tell others about our spirituality, but we will never listen to their spirituality.

Learning to wait in the dawn for the discovery of our loneliness, for me, is my spiritual journey. “In solitude we can pay attention to our inner self. In solitude we can become presents to ourselves.” (Nouwen) and in the words of Rilke, “What is going on in your innermost being is worthy of your whole love.” Palm Sunday it is not only the recognition of God’s Holiness but also the reminder of the suffering. It is the God, and the man, the light and the dark. The divine and the evil in us coming together in a week of remembrance.