Farewell to a friend-Adios a una amiga

A good friend of us has gone to be with God, today as a way to honor and remember her I would like to share what Henry Nouwen said in his writings.

As we grow older we have more and more people to remember, people who have died before us. It is very important to remember those who have loved us and those we have loved. Remembering them means letting their spirits inspire us in our daily lives. They can become part of our spiritual communities and gently help us as we make decisions on our journeys. Parents, spouses, children, and friends can become true spiritual companions after they have died. Sometimes they can become even more intimate to us after death than when they were with us in life.

Remembering the dead is choosing their ongoing companionship.

Jody, your love, intense prayer and great friendship will be always with us. We love you!

Not Playing-No Jugando

I was told the other day that if I am a pastor, I’m probably playing the game of being closer to God than everybody else. This comment made me realized that there are many expectations we placed in others, according to the position they have. In reality, when we expect something from somebody else is because may be we can not do it for ourselves. Or what about when we say, “this church is boring”, oh my!! I never thought community was a place of entertainment. I am a spiritual leader not a comedian (even though the second one sometimes is more true).Well, I can not play to be the perfect pastor because indeed I am not, and I can not play to be closer to God than everybody else, because surely I am not and I would never intend to be. I am just someone who can recognize his humanity and that I am as imperfect as any other person, but I seek in faith the One who can love me just as I am. I go to be in community not because I am going to be entertained, not expecting anything from anybody else; I go to community to listen and may be touch and be touched.“So why are my expectations of others so high? what need in me is not being address of fulfilled? In every community there is always someone who doesn’t satisfy my need or someone who irritates me. Community is not some sentimental ideal place or time where everybody live together, loves each other, and always gets along. That is never going to happen. Rather, in living together we come to realize that community doesn’t require or offer total emotional harmony. In community, you really come to know yourself. Jealously, anger, the feeling of being rejected or neglected, the sense of not truly belonging–all these emerged in the context of a community striving for a life of forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing. Sometimes in community I put claims on people that are so high that nobody can live up to them–emotional claims and expectations of which I am not fully aware.”(Henry Nouwen) So no I am not playing the game of trying to be closer, I am just Miguel a person in the same boat, in the same ride, not higher and may be, there is a small chance that I could be a little lower than you. (Do you realize that underneath my black rob I have sandals and jeans!)

Hace unos días me dijeron que si yo era pastor entonces estaba jugando el juego de creerme más cercano a Dios que cualquier otra persona. Este comentario me hizo darme cuenta que hay muchas expectativas que tenemos de los demás, dependiendo de la posición que tengas. En realidad cuando esperamos algo de alguien más seguramente es porque nosotros no lo podemos hacer. O que cuando decimos, “la iglesia esta aburrida” ¡a caray! no me había dado cuenta que en vez de pastor debía ser comediante y que la comunidad era un lugar de entretenimiento. Bueno, pues no puedo jugar y aparentar que soy el pastor perfecto porque en realidad no lo soy, tampoco puedo jugar a que estoy más cercano a Dios que cualquier otra persona porque la realidad es que no lo estoy y no planeo estarlo. Solo soy una persona que reconoce su humanidad y que soy tan imperfecto como cualquier otra persona pero que busco en fe a quien me acepta tal y como soy. Voy a estar en comunidad, no para ser entretenido, tampoco voy esperando algo de alguien. Voy a estar en comunidad para escuchar y posiblemente tocar y ser tocado. “¿Entonces porqué las expectativas que tengo hacia los demás son tan altas? ¿Que necesidad personal no esta siendo suplida? En toda comunidad siempre hay alguien quien no satisface mis expectativas o quien me irrita. Comunidad no es un lugar ideal y sentimental en donde todos viven juntos, se aman, y siempre se llevan bien. Esto nunca pasará. Al contrario, al venir juntos nos damos cuenta que al venir a la comunidad no nos requiere, ni aun ofrece una harmonía total. En comunidad aprendemos a conocernos a nosotros mismos. Los celos, enojos, el sentimiento de ser rechazado, la sensación de no pertenecer, todo esto aparece en el contexto de una comunidad que anhela una vida en perdón, reconciliación y sanidad. Muchas veces en la comunidad  yo pongo tan altas expectativas en las personas que seguramente no podrán cumplirlas–expectativas que muchas veces yo ni se que están allí (Henry Nouwen). Así que no estoy jugando al juego de pretender que estoy mas cerca de Dios, simplemente soy Miguel, una persona en el mismo bote, en el mismo caminar, no mas alto y puede que sea posible que hasta un poquitín mas abajo que tú.(¡No se dan cuenta que debajo de mi bata tengo chanclas y jeans!)

Listening with our face-Escuchando con nuestra cara

I heard the story of a young boy who was having a conversation with his dad. His dad was doing other stuff while trying to listen to what his son was saying, suddenly the young boy said, “Dad! you are not listen to me!”. -Of course!, said the father. The little boy stood up and went where his dad was working. He grabbed a small bench climb on it and faced his dad looking into his eyes saying, “No, dad! I want you to listen to me!”, -but I am, responded the father with a little of frustration. The little boy stared at the eyes of his father, grab his cheeks and said, Dad, “I want you to listen with your face.”

Listening with our face, what an intense statement in a world that is not used to listen anymore. We may have great conversation with each other but that does not mean that we are listening to each other. Most of the time when someone is sharing something to us, we are already preparing the answer that we will give him. We are more pron to give answers than to listen. We even have questions, but sometimes we do not want to listen to the answers. It is really hard to listen with our face the cries of our world when we can not even listen to our own cry. But we can also easily stay within us and quite down the many voices of the people suffering injustices, Manning says “When I am divided within myself, when I am so preoccupied with my own sins, egocentricity, and moral failures that I can not hear the anguished cry to others, then I have subtly reestablished self as the center of my focus and concern”.

There are many voices trying to get our attention in this community, are we going to keep listening just to the ones we like, or are we going to start listening with our face? This requires attention and willingness to listen without wanting to have the answers, but at least being able to offer our hand. Not the hand that gives bread with the hope that this soul will be “saved” from the flames of hell; but the hand that embrace, the hand that accept, the hand that offers a friendship, “what really counts is that in moments of pain and suffering someone stays with us. More important than any particular action or word of advice is the simple presence of someone who cares. In a time so filled with methods and techniques designed to change people, to influence their behavior, and to make them do new things and think new thoughts, we have lost the simple but difficult gift of being present to each other” (Nouwen,McNeill, Morrison)

Acceptance-Aceptación

I am really excited for all the classes I am taking this semester, all of them are related with Sociology. One of the classes I was a little bit afraid to start was Anthropology because I have heard a lot of really bad comments about the teacher, but let me tell you, the teacher is a great character and, I believe, he is someone I can learn a lot from specially because he is involved in the area I would love to specialized, Cultural Anthropology. It is so easy to stereotype another person and usually happens when in our own inadequacies we think we can not relate with that person. When I went to ratemyprofressor. com I was in awe of all the horrible statements about him, but what if we just stop and listen what he really have to say to us. What if we can, for just one moment, see beyond what we can not understand or accept from him. (his accents, his voice, his easiness to wonder around and talk about everything except the class) What if we can take all those distractions away from us and for a moment try to learn from the person teaching us. Last night for many of my classmates the class was boring, tired and non-sense; for me, in the other hand, was a time to discover an incredible person, whom I would love to sit by and listen all the good stories he may have.

I think one of the hardest thing to do as human beings is “accept one another”. Christ-God ask us to love one another because most of the time love can go beyond any other feeling. But sometimes I can love without accepting, but I can not accept without loving. Acceptance is the human experience of the heavenly love. It is what we can relate with each other, it is the most important ingredient for a community who wants Diversity among them. But it is hard to do because we need to be willing to surrender our own desires to feel accepted so we can pass through the wall of our limited understanding and touch and be touched by the one who is different, by the one who speaks different, by the one who relates different to me. “Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another’s person hood.” – Karen Casey
As a university student and sociology major acceptance should be our rule, the rule to open our minds so we can learn from every person, as imperfect as we are. I hope that some people in that class can go beyond themselves and touch and be touched by the words and life of this teacher.

Estoy muy emocionado por todas las materias que estoy llevando este semestre, todas ellas se relacionan con Sociología. Una de las clases que tenía un poco de miedo de empezar era Antropología, ya que había escuchado muy malos comentarios acerca del profesor. Pero déjenme decirles que el profesor es un carácter extraordinario y yo creo que él es alguien de quien yo puedo aprender mucho especialmente porque esta involucrado en el área que más me interesa: Antropología Cultural. Es muy fácil estereotipar a una persona y usualmente pasa cuando en nuestras deficiencias pensamos que no podemos relacionarnos con ella. Cuando fui a el sitio de califica a tu maestro en el internet me horroricé de los comentario que le hacía, pero que si solo pudiéramos detenernos y escuchar lo que él tiene que decirnos. Que si por un momento pudiéramos ver mas allá de lo que no entendemos o aceptamos (su acento, su voz calmada y su afán de hablar de otra cosa menos del tema) Que si podemos quitar todas estas distracciones de nosotros y por momento, tan solo un momento poder aprender de la persona que nos enseña. Anoche para muchos de mis compañeros, la clase fue aburrida, tediosa y sin mucho sentido; para mí fue un tiempo de descubrir a una maravillosa persona con quien me gustaría sentarme y escuchar todas las historias que puede ser que él tenga.

Una de las cosas mas difíciles por hacer como seres humanos es “aceptarnos unos a otros”. Cristo-Dios nos dijo que nos amaramos unos a otros ya que el amor, en muchas ocasiones, va mas allá de cualquier otro sentimiento. Pero a veces puedo amar sin aceptar, pero no puedo aceptar sino amo. La aceptación es el sentimiento humano del amor celestial. Es como nos podemos relacionar con los demás. Es el ingrediente mas importante para una comunidad que deseas diversidad entre ellos. Pero es muy difícil de hacer porque tenemos que estar dispuestos a rendir nuestros propios deseos de ser aceptados para así poder pasar la pared de nuestro tan ilimitado entendimiento y poder tocar y ser tocado por quien es diferente, por quien tiene un acento diferente, por quien se relaciona conmigo diferente. “En verdad amar a otro significa dejar a un lado todas nuestras expectativas. Significa una aceptación total, aun la celebración de la personalidad de la otra persona”-Karen Casey

Como un estudiante universitario y uno que estudia sociología, el aceptar debe ser nuestra regla. La regla de abrir nuestras mentes y poder aprender de toda persona, con todas nuestras imperfecciones. Espero que algunas personas en esa clase puedan ir mas allá de si mismos y puedan tocar y ser tocados por las palabras y la vida del maestro.

His Love- Su Amor

I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.
-Marcus Aurelius, philosopher

Two authors have ministering my life for the last four years; both are Catholics. Their deep and profound words, in the many books they had and have written, have helped me to see God’s grace and love in a different way. Their words have taught me to see myself as a loved and accepted person. It doesn’t matter what I have done in the past or what I am continue doing in the present. it does not matter if I know how to love people or if I keep hurting others.(and the later is the mark of my imperfection as a human being). It does not matter if I know what I am doing in my life or I am clueless. I know I have to continuously look beyond my own inadequacies so I can experience His assurance in my life. A life without God, without any kind of spirituality that can help us see beyond ourselves, it is a life center in us and not in others. What a limited life to believe that I am the only one that exist.“Do I hear his word spoken to my heart: ‘Shalom, be at peace. I understand your fears, your failures, your brokenness. I don’t expect you to be perfect. I have been there. All is well. You have my love. You don’t have to pay for it, and you can’t deserve it. You only have to open and receive it. You only have to say yes to my love–a love beyond anything you can intellectualize or imagine” (Brennan Manning)

By the way last night I talked to my parents and they are doing well (Getting better after their surgeries) Of course, we miss each other and we would love to be together, sharing the Eucharist to  join the one who has helped us through all these years.  My father, as a man who has enjoyed reading, and with his voice full intensity said goodbye to me with these words: “I am with you through the melody of a concert and in a good cup of wine”.

Aveces me pregunto como es que todo hombre se ama a si mismo mas que cualquier otro, pero pone un valor menor en su opinion de si mismo, que en la opinion de los demás.
-Marcos Aurelio, Filosofo.

Dos autores han ministrado mi vida por los últimos cuatro años, los dos son Católicos. Las palabras profundas y de mucho significado que han y siguen escribiendo me han ayudado a ver la gracia y el amor de Dios de una manera muy diferente. Sus palabras me han ayudado a verme como una persona amada y aceptada. No importa lo que haya hecho en el pasado o lo que sigo haciendo en el presente. No importa si se como amar a las personas, o si sigo lastimándolas (y déjenme decirles que lo segundo es la marca de mi imperfección como ser humano). No importa si se lo que hago en mi vida o no tengo la menor idea. Se que tengo que seguir viendo mas allá de mis incapacidades para así poder experimentar Su seguridad en mi vida. Una vida sin Dios, sin ningún tipo de espiritualidad que nos pueda llevar a ver más allá de nosotros mismos, es una vida centrada en nosotros y no en los demás. Que vida tan limitada el creer que solo yo existo. “Escucho Su voz hablando a mi corazón: ‘Shalom, tengan paz. Yo entiendo tus miedos, tus fracasos, tu quebranto. No espero que seas perfecto. Yo he estado allí. Todo esta bien. Tienes mi amor. No tienes que pagar por el, y lo mereces. Solo tienes que abrirte y recibirlo. Solo tienes que decir si a mi amor–amar mas allá de cualquier cosa que puedas intelectualizar o imaginar”. (Brennan Manning)

Por cierto ayer hable con mi padres y los dos se encuentran muy bien de salud (y recuperándose de sus cirugías). Claro extrañándonos y queriendo estar juntos, queriendo compartir la Eucaristía para unirnos en aquel que nos ha mantenido. Y con las palabras de un caballero andante se despidió diciendo, “Estoy contigo a través de las notas de un concierto y en una buena copa de vino en mano”.